How hard should we push people? This is a question nearly everyone asks themselves at some point. For some people it’s the boy or girl you like. You’ve asked them out and are anxiously awaiting the response. Do you explain why the two of you would be perfect together or do you just ask the question and wait? You feel need to explain but don’t want to pressure them into something they don’t want to do. Is there a right or wrong way of doing this? How hard should we push people?

Parents often find this even more with their children. You want them to make the right decision but you don’t want to nag them or make them resent you. How hard should you push your children toward which person to date, which classes to take, which friends to have, which college to attend or which religion to pursue? How hard should we push people?

Sometimes our friends confide in us about a decision they’re considering and it seems clear which choice is right and which one is wrong. How hard should we push them? When does love allow them the freedom to make their own decision and when does it relentlessly and persistently insist and plead with them to have courage and do the right thing? Is there even an answer?

Who bears the responsibility should they make the wrong decision? Does it rest solely on the one who chooses or does part of the blame rest on those potential boyfriends or girlfriends, parents and friends who failed to convince them to do the right thing. How hard should we push people?

Today’s school system tells us that turning a blind eye to evil, such as bullying, and allowing it to take place is as bad (or worse) than doing the bullying. Does this apply every time we allow others to make wrong decisions? Is it our responsibility to stop our friends, crushes and children from doing wrong at any cost? Are we partially guilty of whatever wrong they do?

If all this is the case, if we all bear partial responsibility for the wrong decisions of others, does that mean God is partially responsible for our decisions to sin? Does that make God guilty of sinning?

Jesus reached out to those around Him. He spoke to the crowds and instructed them in the ways of His Heavenly Father but allowed them to choose whether or not to follow Him. Because He loves people, His heart broke when they rejected Him and chose wrongly. His wanted to see them follow Him and live righteously, but He left the decision to them and was innocent of their choices.

Others will make their decisions quite independent of us. They may listen to our advice (or begging) but there will come a point where they will decide for themselves either to heed or ignore it. We see this all too often in breakups and divorce. One party usually tries desperately to convince the other to stay, but despite their passionate, heart wrenching pleas, they make their decision and the pleading does nothing to change it.

It’s good to love others and desire the best for them and it’s easy to blame ourselves for the decisions of others but we cannot allow this to trap us in a life of regret. We cannot spend our lives wishing we had done more. We must move forward, do what we can, and pray that God would see His work through to completion.